John's writing

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Location: Pittsburgh PA area, United States

John McCracken is a cab driver in Pittsburgh, PA, a Vietnam veteran and self-educated in American History and psychology. He interacts and exchanges views and opinions with a wide cross section of Americans. John has successfully completed several writing courses. He feels newspaper opinion pieces, though many times witty and insightful, too often do not reflect the opinions of average Americans who offer an important ingredient to debates shaping America today. John gives average, working Americans their seat at the table of public opinion which they often times feel they lack.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Civilian Trials for Foreign Criminials and Enemy Combatants

I've spent a part of the day thinking about this issue of civil trials for these terrorists enemy combatants and prisoners of war. And I'm just not buying into this civilian trial or the argument about the Bill of Rights. That's a bogus argument. Why?

The Bill of Rights were written to protect Americans or immigrants living in America from government encroachment. If you are arrested by a police officer or and agent of a civilian branch government (FBI, Drug Enforcement, Tobacco and Fire Arms, Treasury Department or the Military under certain situations) you have rights and due process.

Nowhere in the Bill of Rights does it mention enemy combatants, foreign terrorist captured outside the bounds of the United States or capture by the CIA. In fact the CIA can not arrest an American or immigrant living in the United States. If they have information, it must be processed by the FBI.

We did not try German or Japanese prisoners in civilian courts. They were prisoners of war and had to wait until the end of World War II to get released. Prisoners in the Civil War were not tried in civilian courts. They languished prisons till the end of the Civil War, unless provisions were made for prisoner exchanges, and that eventually ended as a means of depriving the South of manpower. There is no precedent for trying prisoners of war and enemy combatants in civilian courts or affording them rights under the Bill of rights.

These Islamic radicals were either captured on the battle field or by the foreign intelligence agencies or the CIA.

If we choose to try them for Crimes Against Humanity, then we have a precedent to follow in the Nuremberg Trials. These were military trials. When we tried Japanese war criminals, we did it by military court. We did not even argue or debate whether these criminals were entitled to the Bill of Rights. They don't apply. And an argument to suggest that Thomas Jefferson wanted to afford these foreign combatants and prisoners of war rights under our Constitution is ridiculous. We have a well established legal precedent set more than sixty years ago at the end of World War II.

Again members of the press want to deify Obama by associating him with Kennedy and now Thomas Jefferson.

I'm reading the Federalist Papers now. Their prescience in their far reaching view of government and future foreign relations. And yet, no where in the Constitution do we hear anything about offering prisoners of war rights under the constitution. So I doubt Thomas Jefferson can be used to justify Obama's plan to use these trials as a propaganda event.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Price of Absolute Freedom

Three hundred Cherokee, Shawnee and Creek warriors trekked two hundred miles on forest trails from what is now Alabama into Tennessee. They arrived at Buchanan Station’s stockade along Mill Creek after mid-night on 30 September 1792. The Indians came north with one goal, to kill white settlers and drive them off their hunting grounds.

The Indian nations allied themselves with the British in the Revolutionary War. On 3 September 1783 the Peace of Paris officially ended the Revolutionary War. It also gave all the land between the Atlantic Ocean and the Mississippi River to the new American Nation. This shocked the Indians for the land wasn’t the British Crown’s possession to give away.

Though the great Indian tribes of North America, the Cherokee, Creek and Iroquois, referred to their people as a nation, they lived in a loose confederation of towns. They elected their chiefs and voted on every decision the town made and refused to recognize any central government.

The Indians enjoyed absolute democracy and freedom. For generations they exercised their freedom to live in a feudal society where they raided and plundered other Indian towns. The inhabitants they didn’t kill they took prisoner and adopted into their tribe.

An Indian war party lacked the military command structures of an organized army. They didn’t have squads, platoons, companies or leaders such as sergeants and officers.

The war party stopped and camped several times on the journey to argue about the best way to destroy Buchanan’s Station. With no general to devise a plan and order its execution all the braves offered suggestions on tactics.

When the frontiersmen heard the Indians might go on the war path, they called out the militia. Militiamen weren’t real soldiers. They were farmers, attorneys and tradesmen who agreed to join together in common defense. Militia units formed themselves into platoons and companies and the men took orders from sergeants and officers they elected. The militia army built a new stockade for Buchanan’s Station. When the three Indian chiefs who led the war party sent word that there would be no war, the militia went home.

Indian scouts crept up to the stockade and peeked through peep holes. They brought back news that the settlers had not posted sentries and slept peacefully inside the stockade, unaware of the danger lurking outside.

John McRory looked over the stockade wall when he heard cattle stir, saw the Indians and shot at them. His shot woke the other settlers and they scrambled out of their warm beds to man the walls.

A brave snuck around to the back of the stockade and tried to set fire to the green timbers. A settler shot him. The Indians and settlers fired on each other through the night. In the exchange one chief, Talotiskee, died, another, John Watts, was seriously wounded. The settlers suffered no casualties.

The next morning the settlers found evidence of much blood and the skid marks of litters used to drag away the wounded. The Indian’s ignorance of modern siege tactics, lack of patience and a command structure in their war party forced them to abandon the attack.

The Indian’s absolute freedom to join or not join a war party, to be a peace town or a war town, to bloody each other as viciously as they bloodied the white settlers left them exposed to a new threat. Settlers poured over the mountains after the promise of cheap land and a new life they earned as spoils from the Revolutionary War. Indian nations had a perfect democracy but no central government to organize a unified challenge to this wave of pioneers.

Inhabitants of the Indian nations paid a terrible price for their desire to enjoy absolute freedom. The white men drove them from their land.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Assign 1 & 2 and Testing Tom Cory's Manhood

Assign 1 Adventure on a Shaded Stream

Jeremy sat in the car’s back seat and frowned at the trees and fields. “Do we have to go to this dumb old farm?”

“We are visiting your uncle, aunt and cousins, buddy,” his dad said.

“Yeah but it smells bad and all the cows and sheep do is stand around and eat grass. It’s boring.”

“You can play with Jill and Cory,” his mother said.

His father turned off the road and onto a long gravel driveway between plowed fields. He parked near the farm house. Uncle Dennis came out of the barn with two children. Cory was Jeremy’s age, eleven, with red hair and freckles. Jill was a year younger with long blond hair. Both smiled when they met Jeremy.

He visited them two years ago. They didn’t play video games much and all they talked about was animals and the farm. None of this interested him in the least. He was sure he would not like them any better today.

His dad said, “Why don’t you run along with Jill and Cory for awhile, buddy? Have a look around the farm.”

“Yeah, come on, Jeremy. We’ll show you some neat stuff,” Cory said.

Jeremy doubted it.

His cousins giggled and raced toward the barn. Jill looked back and said, “Come on, slow poke. Our dad tried an experiment and we want to see if it worked.”

“What experiment?” Jeremy asked.

“He put an orphaned duck egg under a chicken,” Cory said. He had a big grin on his face.
That didn’t sound very interesting.

The tractor rutted dirt outside the barn door. “Look. They must have just hatched,” Cory said. A chicken came out of the barn followed by four chicks. “The duckling’s the last chick.”

The duckling veered off, waddled to a small pond and splashed into the water. The chicken flapped her wings, squawked and ran around in circles on the waters edge.

Jill laughed. “That chicken is losing its mind.”

Cory laughed.

Jeremy didn’t want to laugh, but he did. “Why is that chicken acting like that?”

“Because she doesn’t know one of her chicks is a duck. She’s upset because it went into the water,” Jill said.

“Why?” Jeremy asked.

“Because she thinks it’s a chicken and chickens don’t go in water,” Cory said.

“Animals are really dumb,” Jeremy said.

Cory frowned. “It’s a chicken. She does what chickens do. Come on, Jeremy we’1l take you to the most peaceful place on the farm.”

They walked down a dirt path between pastures where cows and sheep grazed on grass. Cory led the way to a stream shaded by trees. The water rushed over rocks into pools. It sounded like a gentle breeze rustling leaves. Birds chirped, fluttered from tree to tree, and darted along the path.

“We come down here to fish,” Cory said.

“How do you fish?”

“You’ve never fished?” Cory asked.

“No. We don’t have streams like this in the suburbs.”

Jeremy shook his head.

“Shhhh,” Jill said. “Look.” She pointed to a large, gray bird with a blue back standing in the shallows. Feathers hung off its blue head like a tuft of greased hair.

“What is it?” Jeremy asked.

“A great blue heron,” Jill said. ““I think it’s a beautiful bird. They eat fish, snakes and lizards. Watch what she does. This is neat.”

The heron stood so still it looked like a plastic lawn statue. Without warning, it struck at the water, stretched its neck to the sky and gulped down a fish.

“That was fast,” Jeremy said.

“That was real fishing,” Cory said. All three laughed.

The heron looked at the children, spread its wings and rose into the air. It glided down the stream. “I love watching them glide through the air,” Jill said.

Jeremy wished he could explore the stream and go fishing. That would be fun.

Jeremy, Jill and Cory laughed and made a ruckus when they entered the house for dinner.

“Dad, can we come back again?” Jeremy asked. “I want to explore the stream with Cory and Jill. And I want to fish.”

Uncle Dennis smiled. “Your father and I were wondering if you might want to come out here for a weekend later in the spring.”

“Yes, I do. I really do. Jill and Cory showed me a lot of neat things.”

His father smiled and said, “Then it’s settled.”


Assign 2 The Mysterious Oak Tree

“I can’t wait to see the cavern in the trunk of the oak tree.” Sam said from behind Josh.

“Yeah, me too,” Josh said. He used exposed roots like steps and grabbed hold of sapling trunks to ease his way down a steep hill.

“We’ve stared at that tree from your parent’s deck for three years, since we were six.”

Josh said, “It could be the mouth of a cave that goes deep into the earth where little people or elves live. Like those elves in the cookie commercials.”

“Maybe we’ll get free cookies,” Sam laughed. “I’m glad we brought a flash light. Maybe we’ll find a leprechaun’s pot of gold.”

They made it to the bottom only to face a marsh matted with tangled, yellow grass and golden cattail stalks. Josh tested the dried vegetation and it held his weight. Halfway across the marsh they broad jumped a stream together, broke through the matted grass and sunk into mud.

“Oh, man,” Josh groaned, “I hope this is worth it.”

“Really.”

They came to a small pond where a pair of mallard ducks scooped at the muddy bank. The ducks muttered irritable quacks and moved away.

Josh climbed another hill. At the top, he sprang back when something flashed in font of him. A rabbit darted down the path and disappeared around a tree.

Sam laughed. “Wow. That scared me too.”

“Hey,” Josh said, “maybe it’s an entrance into another dimension.”

“Yeah, we might enter another world. Boy, would that be an adventure or what?”

“Really,” Josh said.

An old, rusty barbed wire fence greeted them when they broke out of the tree line. They weaved their way between the top and bottom strings and trudged up an old abandoned pasture. An oak tree stood alone on the hill. Its bare, gnarled branches twisted into the steel gray November sky.

“There it is,” Sam said. “We made it.”

They reached it. Two adult men couldn’t circle their arms around its massive trunk.

“Ah, I can’t believe it,” Josh said. “There’s no cavern. It’s just stained dark at the base.”

The weight of his disappointment dragged Josh to the ground. He took off his backpack and leaned against the tree. “All for nothing,” he said.

Sam joined him. “Yeah, three years of staring at it and thinking it might be something really neat and it’s a bust.”

Josh pulled two granola bars from his backpack. He passed one to Sam. They chewed on the tasty bars and stared at the top of the woods. “It was fun coming here.”

“Yeah, it was,” Sam said.

“I’ve never come this far into the woods before,” Josh said.

“Me neither.”

“Hey, there’s the legend of Rufcus the old hermit’s cabin being somewhere in these woods. People say he was kind of wizard or something like that. We can look for it on our way home.” Josh smiled. “That’d be fun.”

“Yeah.” Sam’s eyes lit up at the promise of a new adventure.



Testing Tom Cory's Manhood

Coal crumbled from the top of the ribs with a loud crunch. Tom Cory instinctively flinched and flashed his head lamp at the ribs and roof tinged the dark gray of old tombstones by a light coating of rock dust. Supposedly the crushed line stone mixed with coal dust suppressed the power of explosions.

Only the most optimistic of souls believed they stood even a small chance of surviving an explosion, with or without rock dust. Like spectral shadows in an ancient graveyard, the many possibilities of an untimely death haunted the dark corners of Tom’s mind. He pushed them into a memory bank he rarely visited.

Hoek laughed exposing a missing canine on the right side of his mouth. “Don’t worry, buddy, it’s just a squeeze. The roof pressing down on the blocks of coal puts a lot of pressure on the ribs. Hand me another bit.”

Tom pulled a bit out of an old ammo box and handed it to Hoek. “Haven’t worked the ribs for a couple years,” Tom said. “Did it back a few years ago as a utilityman when I first came into the mines. Been on the solids since then. Wanted top rate so I bid on this miner’s helper job.”

“The solids are tame. This is where the action is, buddy.” Hoek used a pair of pliers to snap the ring clamp on the bit and handed them to Tom. He put them in the ammo box.

Hoek traced the path of a clay vein along the roof with his head lamp till it disappeared into a block of coal across the intersection. The strip of jagged, dull gray rocks that overlapped themselves like scales was the remnant of a stream that ran through an ancient jungle millions of years ago Clay veins were unstable at best. Chucks of rocks could fall from them without warning. “That’s a problem. With three blocks out and no roof fall, that clay vein is a natural break line.”

“Let’s see what’s happening behind that canvass.” Hoek’s shoulders pulled his squat, sturdy body forward on bowed legs.

He pushed his way around the side of a yellow canvas at the end of the entry. Tom followed.

Layers of massive broken rocks filled the entry behind three posts. Tom frowned at the stark reminder of the forces they challenged.

“Let’s check the other side, buddy.”

They went behind the canvass on the cross cut side of the block. Their head lamp beams revealed a vast cavern stretching the length of a football field with stumps of coal and abandoned posts before the blackness swallowed the light.

Hoek spit tobacco juice. “That’s three blocks of nothing with a clay vein behind us. The roof out there in the gob is interlocked with this roof,” he pointed up, “and pulling down on it. That’s why we got this squeeze going on. See how those posts out there are bent like bananas and sweating sap at the top. There’s a lot of pressure on them, buddy.”

Tom heard a buggy’s whining tram motors behind them.

The rustling of the canvass jolted Tom and he spun his head to look for danger. Ronnie the boss forced his way around the side of the canvass and joined them. “Got posts and crib blocks to unload.” He scanned the empty gob. “Going to be a hell of fall when it comes.”

“Yeah, hopefully without one of us under it,” Hoek said.

“Tom, we got to get you some experience running the miner. Hoek will fender out the backside of the block and you’ll fender out the back quarter. Hoek will take out the front quarter. It’ll be the toughest. Might as well break your cherry.”

“Okay,” Tom said. These two appeared immune to the fear that rippled through him.

“Come on,” Ronnie said.

When they immerged from the canvas, the buggy, a large rectangular hopper on four wheels with a conveyor belt up the middle to the boom and a steel canopy over the operator’s compartment, sat in the intersection. The crew stood around it waiting for orders.

“Okay,” Ronnie said, “get those posts out of there and stick them over here. Put those crib blocks over there. Let’s go. I have to check the returns.” He disappeared into the darkness.

“Hey, Tab, you going to help,” Toad the lead utilityman asked as he pulled a post from the buggy. He had large eyes, a wide mouth and a pock marked face – he looked like a toad.

“Now you know better than that, buddy,” Tab said in slow drawl from the buggy’s kitchen. “I don’t leave this seat except to piss and eat lunch. There’s only two things I’m willing to do, run this buggy and retire soon.” The crew laughed.

Tom smiled. Tab was the oldest man on the crew. Like all the miners of his generation, he left school and followed his father into the mines to help the family during the depression. He started in the mines when they used picks and shovels and watched the evolution of the industry from early mechanization to the new continuous miners.

Ronnie came back as Tom passed the last crib block over the side of the buggy to Toad. “Tab, get that buggy out of here. Toad, Suitcase, Tapeworm, you take the new utilityman – what’s your name?”

“Billy.”

“Billy - and tear down that canvass at the end of the entry. Set six posts in front of those three posts there. You, guys,” he pointed at Hoek, Tom and Goober, tear down that canvas on the cross cut and do the same. And put the canvas back up. I’m going to see how Meatball’s doing greasing Goober’s buggy.”

Tom measured the distance from the roof to the bottom with two old five foot roof augers. They took turns on a two-man bow saw to cut the post. Goober set the post in place, Hoek put a small cap block on top and Tom drove wooden wedges under it with the flat end of an ax to tighten it against the roof.

Meatball the mechanic joined them.

“What, you can’t sleep?” Hoek asked. “We making too much noise for you?”

Meatball inspected the post they set with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Hoek, you can’t use more than two wedges on a post. You know that. If an inspector comes along and sees three wedges on this post, he’s going to write your ass up.”

“Hey, Meatball, in five hours that post is going to be under hundreds of thousands of tons of rock. Ain’t no inspector’s going to see how many wedges I have on it.”

“Suit yourself.” He held up his hands in mock surrender. “You want to break the law, that’s your business.”

“Hey, if all you got to do is aggravate me, I can tear up that miner in this next cut and give you something useful to do.”

“Why they call you Meatball?” Tom asked while he took measurements for another post.

Hoek let out an evil chortle. “Because when he first got married all his wife knew how to make was spaghetti and meatballs. He ate so many meatballs he started to look like one. So we named him accordingly. And only a real meatball would come up here aggravating a man about how many wedges he uses on a gob post.”

When they finished their jobs, the crew gathered at the intersection. Ronnie came around the corner a few minutes later. Toad, Billy, you guys put up a canvass at the end of the entry - from here.” Ronnie walked the length of the cross cut. “Turn it here and run it up to the face about a foot from the rib. Suitcase, Tapeworm, help them. We want air to flow to the face and sweep the dust into the gob.

“Tom, Hoek, Goober, you guys start building a crib here.” Ronnie stood at the corner of the block. Alright, let’s go.” Ronnie disappeared around the corner.

Tom scraped the bottom clean with a wide coal shovel. Hoek and Goober dropped three foot, six by six inch crib blocks beside him. He positioned two cribs parallel to each other, set two across them and stacked them to the roof. When he finished, it looked like a vertical crib.

While they tightened it against the roof with wedges, Tom asked, “Why do you guys call the bolter and his helper Suitcase and Tapeworm?”

“Suitcase Joe.” Hoek said with a broad grin. “He went out and got all drunked up one night and came home to find a suitcase on his front porch.”

“He’s divorced?”

“Nah, his wife let him back in - but he had to beg. And now, whenever he goes out on a drunk, he finds a suitcase on the front porch and has to beg his wife to let him in again.” Hoek laughed.
“And Tapeworm - his wife packs him three sandwiches, a bunch of twinkies and who knows what else. He stands a little over five and half feet tall, can’t weigh more than a hundred and forty pounds and eats like a continuous miner hogging out coal.”

Toad, Billy, Suitcase and Tapeworm joined them. The crew gathered around the crib like a family around a freshly decorated Christmas tree.

Billy asked, “What are we doing here?”

“Mining coal,” Suitcase said. “Man, you are green.” The crew laughed.

“I meant . . .”

“I know, Buddy. I’m just messing with you. They call this the ribs opposed to the solids. In the solids, you drive in the entries and cross cuts to make blocks one hundred by one hundred feet square. In the ribs, we take the blocks out.”

Goober, a country boy with a thick drawl, said, “You want to walk down the middle of the entry. There’s a lot of pressure on the ribs, the walls of coal. In a squeeze like this, they can blow out and crush you.”

“We split the block in half parallel to the crosscut and then split the front half parallel to the entry so it looks like a T,” Hoek said. “Then we take out the fenders and it all comes in behind us. We set the posts as temporary roof supports. We’ll remove the ones that don’t have too much weight on them so we can use them again on the next block. That crib there, it’ll hold as much weight as thirteen posts.”

“You think it’ll fall tonight,” Toad asked.

“Hope so,” Hoek said. “Those knuckleheads on afternoon got the block T’d. Then the miner broke down so they couldn’t take out the back fender. That’s alright, we get this block out and start on the other block, afternoon will have to move the equipment across the section to start the block between entries one and two.”

“That means we don’t have to move. Man, I hate dragging all that cable across the section,” Toad said.

“That’s if they don’t break down or decide to rob the barrier. They rob the barrier and that’s going to be a couple cuts,” Hoek said.

“Isn’t robbing the barrier against the law?” Tom asked.

“Of course it is. The law says you have to have a hundred foot barrier between sections - untouched. It keeps black damp, air with no oxygen, and other gasses in an abandoned section from seeping into a working section. The barrier also keeps water in an abandoned section from flooding a working section. But, when everything falls in, who’s going to see if you robbed the barrier?

“If you're going to rob the barrier, you want to do it down on number eight. It’s a bad idea to rob the barrier on number one where you got an abandoned section on the other side.”

“Why?”

“If you got bad luck, you stand a real good chance of robbing the barrier where someone robbed it on the other side. And nobody has worse luck than that poor bastard Mike Rovkavich.”

“What happened to Mike?” Goober asked.

“Daylight left us the front fenders on the block between number one and two entries. Mike decided he wanted a few extra cars of coal so he told me to rob the barrier on the left side of 2 Butt 18 Face. He figured he had a hundred foot barrier so a couple cuts would leave plenty of coal in it. Halfway into that second cut the face burst open and tidal waive of water rushed out of the abandoned section. It looked like the Poseidon adventure. I jumped off the miner and started running with the rest of the crew. The water was half way up our calves before we reached the dinner hole. Mike came splashing after us screaming, ‘Get sand bags. Get a sump pump.’”

“What’d you guys do?” Toad asked after he got control of his laughter.

“Hey, that poor bastard was on his own as far as we were concerned.

“The company doesn't ask too many questions as long as the coal's coming out the section. But when you need a canoe to get from the dinner hole to the miner, they got a lot of questions.”

The laughter was infectious and uncontrollable.

“I’m hoping this here Ronnie guy is smarter than that. But when you get right down to it, they’re pretty much all the same.”

Ronnie came back around the corner. “Hoek, fire up your miner and load coal.”

Hoek climbed under the steel canopy and into the kitchen. He flipped the switches and the miner hummed to life. He eased the tram levers forward and it clip-clopped down the center of the entry on steel tracks. Tom followed behind the boom to keep the three inch cable and water hose against the rib. Hoek swung the boom to the left, turned the corner and started into the cut.

He swung the boom to the right and angled the head against the coal face and turned on the water sprays Dampened, layers of black coal and thin ribbons of gray slate glistened in the miner’s halogen spot lights. The rotating head rumbled to life.

Hoek forced the whirling head into the coal face. The miner bounced and lurched, dust billowed, sparks flashed and the sound of steel covers rattled.

Tab eased his buggy under the boom. The conveyer sprung to life with a metallic clattering and mounds of coal spilled into the buggy’s hopper.

Hoek brought the head half way up the cut, lightly touched the tram levers to push the head in further and brought it down. After he filled Tab’s buggy, it lumbered off to the loading ramp to load coal cars. Goober’s buggy replaced it. Hoek drove in to the cut about four feet.

With his head lamp, he signaled Tom to watch his cable as he backed out of the cut. He attacked the upper cut and continued the process till he broke through to the fallen rocks of the gob.

Hoek backed out of the cut and turned the miner off. Toad took measurements with augers, Suitcase, Tapeworm and Tom carried posts and Billy and Hoek cut them with a bow saw. They set two rows of three posts in minutes and Hoek went in for another cut. Hoek finished the last cut on the back fender before dinner.

After dinner, Ronnie said, “Okay, Tom, into the kitchen.”

The power of the of the thirty-five foot machine crawling over the bottom, its steel tracks crushing the loose coal under it, vibrated through Tom. He maneuvered into the cut, turned on the sprays and head. The violence of the head ripping at the coal rushed through his body.

With the cut almost finished, he felt antsy when a buggy didn’t pull under the boom for a couple minutes. He scanned the roof with his head lamp. The miner’s pump motor hummed. He caught movement on the rib beside him from the corner of his eye. Black coal dust slid down the rib in fine ripples like oil. The ripples glittered and danced in his head lamp’s light.

He raked his memory banks for the meaning of it. Terror jolted his body when he realized it announced an impending fall. He grabbed the tram leavers and slammed them into reverse. Instinctively he turned and flagged Hoek with his head lamp. Hoek grabbed the cable. Suitcase, Tapeworm, Meatball, Toad and Billy ran to help. They looked like a tug of war team.
A buggy swung around the corner. Everyone flagged him off with frantic shakes of their head lamps. It disappeared.

Tom spun his head to the gob. The roof sagged. Like a thousand volts of electricity, terror surged through his body. His heart raced. He swung the boom to keep it from plowing into the rib. His hand released a tram lever and the miner swung around the corner. He jammed both tram levers into full reverse to make the miner crawl faster. It didn’t. He heard a loud roar and a gust of wind smacked his.

A thick, murky cloud of dust absorbed his head lamp beam. It slowly cleared to reveal layers of flat rocks piled high in the entry. The roof had broken off at the clay vein and wiped out the quarter block of coal, the crib and the intersection. Tom sat motionless and stared at the fall.

He jumped when a hand slapped him hard on the shoulder.

Hoek stood beside him grinning. “You saved her, buddy. You got her out – good job.”

Suitcase stood next to Hoek. A smile spread across his face and his eyes gleamed with amusement. “You need any shit paper there, buddy.” Hoek and Suitcase laughed.

Tom smiled. “Nah - I’m okay. Man, that was a close one.”

“Yeah but you hung in there, buddy, and brought her out like a guy born on that seat,” Suitcase said.

Ronnie came up. “Good job, Tom. Now that’s what I call breaking your cherry.” Everyone laughed including Tom.

“I need a drink of water,” Tom said. He left the miner and walked to the dinner hole. He pushed his way through the slit in the canvass. A block wall that separated the return where the dust and gasses blew out of the mine from the rest of the section closed off the far side of the dinner hole. Three posts with boards nailed to them at the top to hang lunch pales on and half way down as back rests ran down the middle of the crosscut. Benches of boards on cinder blocks lined the ribs and either side of the posts. Tom took his igloo thermos off a nail from a top board and gulped cool water.

His adrenalin came back to normal and he started to tremble. He plopped on a bench and leaned against the back rest. He felt tired. He closed his eyes, sucked in a deep breath and exhaled.

The crew came through the canvass for a drink. Ronnie followed them.

“Okay, after you get a drink, Toad, Billy, move that fan around and start setting up the next cut. We have to start T’ing the next block. Suitcase, Tapeworm, you help them. Then get your bolter moved around. Hoek, Tom, get the miner moved over to the next block. Let’s go.”

Tom followed the crew out of the dinner hole grateful he didn’t have too long to ponder surviving his first roof fall.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Ribs

A loud crunch followed by coal crumbling off the top of the ribs forced Tom Cory to instictively flinched.

Hoek laughed. “Don’t worry, buddy, it’s just a squeeze. That’s the roof pressing down on the blocks of coal. We’re going to be okay. Hand me another bit.”

Tom pulled a bit out of an old ammo box and handed it to Hoek. “Haven’t worked the ribs for a couple years. Did it back a few years ago as utilityman when I first came into the mines. Been on the solids since then. Bid on this miner’s helper job for top rate.”

“The solids are tame. This is where the action is, buddy.” Hoek used a pair of pliers to snap the ring clamp on the bit and handed them to Tom. He put them in the ammo box. “Let’s have a look around. See what’s going on here.”

Hoek used the beam of his head lamp to trace the path of a gray clay vein across the entry. It disappeared into a block of coal on the other side of the intersection. “That’s a problem. With three blocks out and no roof fall, that clay vein is a natural fault line.”

From his first days in the coal mines three years ago, the old timers warned him about clay veins. The sediment from streams millions of years ago became soft sharp rocks that could fall off the roof with no warning.

“Let’s see what’s happening behind that canvass.”

Hoek pushed his way around the side of a yellow canvas at the end of the entry. Tom followed him. A gray slab of rock ten feet wide rested on its edge and disappeared where the roof abruptly ended behind three posts.

“Let’s check the other side, buddy.”

They went behind the canvass on the cross cut side of the block. Their head lamp beams revealed stumps of coal and posts left behind as temporary roof supports in a vast black cavern.

Hoek spit tobacco juice. “That’s about three blocks of nothing. All those rocks up there are interlocked together so the roof out in the empty gob is pulling down on the roof over top of us. And that’s why we got this squeeze going on. See how those posts there are bent like bananas and how their sweating sap up at the top. There’s a lot of pressure on them, buddy.”

Tom heard a buggy’s whining tram motors behind them.

Ronnie the boss joined them. “Got posts and crib blocks to unload.” He scanned the empty gob. “Going to be a hell of fall when it comes.”

“Yeah, hopefully without one of us under it,” Hoek said.

“Tom, we got to get you some experience running the miner. Hoek will fender out the backside of the block and you’ll fender out the back quarter. Hoek will take out the front quarter. It’ll be the toughest. Might as well break your cherry.”

“Okay,” Tom said. These two appeared immune to the fear that rippled through him.

“Come on,” Ronnie said.

When they immerged from the canvas, the buggy, a large rectangular dumpster on four wheels with a conveyor belt up the middle to the boom and a steel canopy over the operator’s compartment, sat in the intersection. The crew stood around its hopper waiting for orders.

“Okay, get those posts out of there and stick them over here. Put those crib blocks over there. Let’s go. I have to check the returns.” Ronnie disappeared into the darkness.

“Hey, Tab, you going to help,” Toad the lead utilityman asked as he pulled a post from the buggy. He had large eyes, a wide mouth and a pock marked face – he looked like a toad.

“Now you know better than that, buddy,” Tab said in slow drawl from the kitchen of the buggy.

“I don’t leave this seat except to piss and eat lunch. Buddy, there’s only two things I’m willing to do, run this buggy and retire soon.” The crew laughed.

Tom smiled. Tab was the oldest man on the crew. He had a white Van Dike beard, entertained the men with stories of the old days and sometimes got off the buggy to give safety tips learned from years of experience.

Ronnie came back as Tom passed the last crib block over the side of the buggy to Toad. “Tab, get that buggy out here. Toad, Suitcase, Tapeworm, you take the new utilityman – what’s your name?”

“Billy.”

“Billy - and tear down that canvass at the end of the entry. Set six posts in front of those three posts there. You, guys,” he pointed at Hoek, Tom and Goober, tear down that canvas on the cross cut and do the same. And put the canvas back up. I’m going to see how Meatball’s doing greasing Goober’s buggy.”

Tom measured the distance from the roof to the bottom with two old roof augers. They took turns on a two-man bow saw to cut the post. Goober set the post in place, Hoek put a small cap block on top of it and Tom used the flat side of an ax to drive wooden wedges under it to tighten it against the roof.

Meatball the mechanic joined them.

“What, you can’t sleep?” Hoek asked. “We making too much noise for you?”

Meatball inspected the post they set with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Hoek, you can’t use more than two wedges on a post. You know that. An inspector comes along; he’d write your ass up.”

“Hey, Meatball, in five hours that post is going to be under hundreds of thousands of tons of rock. Ain’t no inspector going to see how many wedges I have on that post.”

“Suit yourself.” He held up his hands in surrender. “You want to break the law, that’s your business.”

“Hey, if all you got to do is aggravate me, I can tear up that miner in this next cut and give you something useful to do.”

“Why they call you Meatball?” Tom asked while he took measurements for another post.

Hoek let out an evil chortle. “Because when he first got married all his wife knew how to make was spaghetti and meatballs. He ate so many meatballs he started to look like one. So we named him accordingly. And only a real meatball would come up here aggravating a man about how many wedges he uses on a gob post.”

When they finished their jobs, the crew gathered at the intersection. Ronnie came around the corner a few minutes later. Toad, Billy, you guys put up a canvass at the end of the entry - from here.” Ronnie walked the length of the cross cut. “Turn it here and run it up to the face about a foot from the rib. Suitcase, Tapeworm, help them. We want air to flow to the face and sweep the dust into the gob. Any questions?

“Tom, Hoek, Goober, you guys start building a crib here.” Ronnie stood at the corner of the block where he wanted the crib built. Alright, let’s go.” Ronnie disappeared around the corner.

Tom used a wide coal shovel to make a clean spot on the bottom for the crib. Hoek and Goober dropped three foot, six by six inch crib blocks beside him. He placed two cribs on the ground parallel to each other, set two across them and stacked them to the roof. When he finished, it looked like a vertical crib.

While they tightened it against the roof with wedges, Tom asked, “Why do you guys call the bolter and his helper Suitcase and Tapeworm?”

“Suitcase Joe.” Hoek said with a broad grin. “He went out and got all drunked up one night and came home to find a suitcase on his front porch.”

“He’s divorced?”

“Nah, his wife let him back in - but had to beg. And now, whenever he goes out on a drunk, he finds a suitcase on the front porch and has to beg his wife to let him in again.” Hoek laughed.

“And Tapeworm - you ever see that kid eat? Hell, his wife packs him three sandwiches, a bunch of twinkies and who knows what else. He stands a little over five and half feet tall, can’t weigh more than one hundred and forty pounds and eats like a continuous miner hogging out coal.”

Toad, Billy, Suitcase and Tapeworm joined them. The crew gathered around the crib like a family around a freshly decorated Christmas tree.

Billy asked, “What are we doing here?”

“Mining coal,” Suitcase said. “Man, you are green.” The crew laughed.

“I meant . . .”

“I know, Buddy. I’m just messing with you. They call it the ribs opposed to the solids. In the solids, you run in the entries and cross cuts to make blocks one hundred by one hundred feet square. In the ribs, we take the blocks out. That puts a lot of pressure on the walls of coal here, the ribs.”

Goober, a country boy with a thick drawl, said, “You want to walk down the middle of the entry. The ribs can blow out in a squeeze like this one.”

“We split the block in half parallel to the crosscut and then split the front half parallel to the entry so it looks like a T,” Hoek said. “Then we take out the fenders and it all comes in behind us. We set the posts as temporary roof supports. We’ll remove the ones that don’t have too much weight on them so we can use them again on the next block. That crib there, it will hold as much weight as thirteen posts.”

“You think it’ll fall tonight,” Toad asked.

“Hope so,” Hoek said. “Those knuckleheads on afternoon got the block T’d. Then the miner broke down so they couldn’t take out the back fender. That’s alright, we get this block out and start on the other block, afternoon will have to move the equipment across the section to start on the block between entries one and two.”

“That means we don’t have to move. Man, I hate dragging all that cable across the section,” Toad said.

“That’s if they don’t break down or decide to rob the barrier. They rob the barrier and that’s going to be a couple cuts,” Hoek said.

“Isn’t robbing the barrier against the law?” Tom asked.

“Of course it is. The law says you have to have a hundred foot barrier between sections - untouched. It keeps black damp, air with no oxygen, and other gasses in an abandoned section from seeping into a working section. The barrier also keeps water in an abandoned section from flooding a working section. But, when everything falls in, who’s going to see if you robbed the barrier?

“If you're going to rob the barrier, you want to do it down on number eight. It’s a bad idea to rob the barrier on number one where you got an abandoned section on the other side.”
Why?

“If you got bad luck, you stand a real good chance of robbing the barrier where someone robbed it on the other side. And nobody has worse luck than that poor bastard Mike Rovkavich.”

“What happened to Mike,” Gobber asked.

“Daylight left us the fenders on the block between number one and two entries. Mike decided he want a few extra cars of coal so he told me to rob the barrier on the left side of 2 Butt 18 Face. He figured he had a hundred foot barrier, two cuts would leave plenty of coal in the barrier. Halfway into that second cut the face exploded on me. Water flooded in like it was the Poseidon adventure. We started running and were calf deep in water before we reached the dinner hole. Mike’s came splashing after us screaming, ‘get sand bags. Get a sump pump."

“What’d you guys do,” Toad asked when he got control of his laughter.

“Hey, that poor bastard was on his own as far as we were concerned.”

“The company doesn't ask too many questions as long as the coal's coming out the section. But when you need a canoe to get from the dinner hole to the miner, they got a lot of questions.”

The laughter was infectious and uncontrollable.

“I’m hoping this here Ronnie guy is smarter than that. But when you get right down to it, when things get tough, they’re all the same.”

Ronnie came back around the corner. “Hoek, fire up the miner and load coal.”

Hoek climbed under the steel canopy and into the kitchen, turned the miner on and pushed the tram levers forward. The continuous miner’s steel tracks clip clopped down the center of the entry. Tom followed behind the boom to keep the miner’s three inch cable and water hose off to the side against the rib.

After Hoek swung the boom around, he angled the miner’s head to the coal face and turned on the water sprays. The wet black coal streaked with gray seams of slate glisten its halogen flood lights. He started the drum head and pushed it against the coal. The miner lurched and rocked on its center axis. Sparks flew; dust billowed and blew into the gob.

Tab pulled his buggy under the boom. A metallic clattering announced the start of the conveyor. Mounds of coal spilled into the buggy.

Hoek started at the bottom and brought the head half way up the coal face, pushed in a little further and lowered it. Once he had dug into the face about four feet, he backed out of the cut.

Tom pulled the cable back to keep the miner from crushing it.

Once out, Hoek lifted the rotating head and tore into the coal on the upper cut.

Hoek finished the cut and the whole crew set post in preparation for the next cut. They finished the last cut on the back fender after lunch. Suitcase and Tapeworm helped Tom with the cable as Hoek backed the miner into the intersection. The crew stood and waited to see if the roof came in.

When it didn’t, Ronnie said, “Okay, Tom, into the kitchen.”

The shaking and rumbling of the thirty-five foot machine crawling over the bottom filled Tom with a sense of power. He maneuvered to the cut, turned on the sprays and head. The violence of the head ripping at the coal sent a rush through his body.

With the cut almost finished, he started to feel a little antsy when a buggy didn’t pull under the boom for a couple minutes. He wanted to finish the cut and get out. His light caught movement on the rib beside him. Black coal dust slid down the rib in fine ripples like flowing oil. The ripples glittering and dancing in the light of his head lamp mesmerized him.

He tried to think of what this new experience meant. Terror jolted his body when he realized it announced an impending fall. He grabbed the tram leavers and slammed them into reverse. Instinctively he turned and flagged Hoek with his head lamp. Hoek grabbed the cable. Suitcase, Tapeworm, Meatball, Toad and Billy ran to help. They looked like a tug of war team.

A buggy lumbered around the corner. Everyone flagged him off with frantic shakes of their head lamps. The buggy disappeared.

Tom spun his head to the gob. The roof sagged. He swung the boom to keep it from jamming against the rib. His hand released a tram lever and the miner swung around the corner. His heart raced. He pulled both levers back till they could go no further to make the miner crawl faster. It didn’t. The miner’s head cleared the clay vein as the roof caved in.

Layers of flat rocks wiped out the quarter block and filled the intersection. Tom sat motionless and stared at the fall. He jumped when a hand slapped him hard on the shoulder.

Hoek stood beside him grinning. “You saved her, buddy – good job.”

Suitcase stood next to Hoek. “You need any shit paper there, buddy.”

Everyone laughed.

Tom smiled. “Nah - I’m okay. Man, that was a close one.”

“Yeah but you hung in there, buddy, and brought her out like a guy born on that seat,” Suitcase said.

Ronnie came up. “Good job, Tom.”

“I need a drink of water,” Tom said. He left the miner and walked to the dinner hole. He pushed his way through the slit in the canvass. A block wall that separated the return where the dust and gasses blew out of the mine closed off the far side of the dinner hole. Three posts down the middle had boards nailed to them at the top and half way down as back rests. Benches made of boards on cinder blocks lined the ribs and either side of the posts. He took his igloo thermos off a nail from a top board and gulped cool water.

His adrenalin came back to normal and he started to tremble. With a thud he sat on a bench and leaned against the back rest. He felt tired. He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled.

The crew came through the canvass for a drink. Ronnie followed them.

“Okay, after you get a drink, Toad, Billy, move that fan around and start setting up the next cut. We have to start T’ing the next block. Suitcase, Tapeworm, you help them. Then get your bolter moved around. Hoek, Tom, get the miner moved over to the next block. Let’s go.”

Tom followed the crew out of the dinner hole grateful he didn’t have too long to ponder his close call.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Detox - the final draft

Jerry Holland usually found the view overlooking Pittsburgh and the three rivers from Mt. Washington inspiring, but not today. The beauty of the sun dappled, icy rivers and buildings on a cold February afternoon could not touch the despair ripping at his soul. Nothing had gone right in the last twenty months since he got sober.

At thirty-eight, anxiety ruled his life. A few drinks would wash it away and let him feel the sweet joy of alcohol oblivion. Yet they would also take him down the same destructive path of drunkenness to detox and rehab where he would have to start all over again.

He prayed. But he had little faith some great power listened or cared about his request for a good job. A week later he found a part-time job, hardly what he envisioned in his prayer.
Jerry walked into the Salvation Army Southside Detox at 3:50 PM, ten minutes before his shift started. Spartan described the detox at best, bleak at worst.

He stood in a recreation area. It had a TV, two tables with chairs around them, three easy chairs and a couch. Behind waist high filing cabinets three rows of old army cots lined the dimly lit ward.

He introduced himself to a short, dour faced man behind a desk off to the right. “I’m, Jerry Holland. I’m supposed to start today at four.”

“I’m, Ronnie.” He didn’t get up or offer his hand.

“At four o’clock announce its dinner time and then escort then across the hall for dinner.”
Some men stood in line waiting. One of them said, “You new, man.”

“Yeah.”

“You an alcoholic.”

“Yeah, I got twenty months sober. I’m just like you.” He saw little point in adding that he wasn’t completely happy with his life sober. His ex-wife still didn’t let him see the children and couldn’t find a job except for one like this or driving cab. Alcohol took him to a low bottom and at times he still felt like he looked at the world from inside a dark pit.

“Not really. I got one day and you could hardly call me sober.” He jerked his head toward Ronnie’s desk. “Don’t mind him. He’s okay, just a little intense. He started out here just like the rest of us but he’s done well for himself. He’s got a few years sober. All you got to do is shout dinner time and the guys will come over and then you walk us across the hall.”

“Thanks. Dinner time,” Jerry shouted and watched the men crawl out of their cots and line up.

“Holland, what you doing here?”

Jerry looked up the line and saw a face he recognized.

“Jim Bosca. Remember me from the Harbor Light. We roomed together for about a week, then I left.”

Jerry smiled and hoped his face didn’t reveal his surprise. Jim Bosco looked nothing like the man he briefly knew eighteen months ago. Then his face was white and clean. Now it looked yellowish with red blotches on the jaws. He kept his brown hair trimmed and combed to perfection but now it hung over his ears dark and greasy. The lack of any semblance pride astonished Jerry.

“What are you doing here, Jim?”

“I hit some rough times, that’s all. I’ll be out of here in a couple days and everything will be normal again.

“Oh.” Jerry couldn’t think of anything else to say. After he brought the men back from dinner, he asked Ronnie what he should do.

“Have a seat. I started out here. Had some problems after Nam. I was a helicopter pilot. Things fell apart a few years after I came home. It’s taken a long time to come back from the streets.”

“I was in Nam.” Jerry said.

Ronnie nodded. “Then you understand.” He pointed to the sleeping area. “This is the last court of appeal for those men. Nobody wants them. That’s were alcoholism has taken them, to the streets.

“They come in here for three to five days depending on how bad they are, mostly to get out of the cold, get some hot food and a warm bed. That’s what I use to do, come in for three hots and cot. February is a cold month and the streets are a bad place to be. If you stay around here for awhile, you’ll see these same men come back time after time.

“No hospital will take them anymore. They’ve been to the hospitals too many times. But the Salvation Army will take them - no questions asked.

“Maybe one of them will get out of here and do something. I did. But it took many years and many trips to this place before I had enough. And that’s what we’re doing here, trying.” Ronnie’s rough face didn’t hold the hope of the usual Drug and Alcohol Counselor.
“What am I suppose to do?”

“This is an easy job. All you do is keep an eye on them. Talk to them. Share your story and hope you can get through to one someday. Don’t get your hopes up that you’ll do any good around here. If you do, it will be a very hard job.”

“What’s up with Jim over there?”

Ronnie frowned and shook his head. “He comes in about every three months or so. Story is always the same, he gets drunk and his brother throws him out. He lives on the street for awhile, decides to try again, his brother lets him come live with him for awhile, he drinks and out he goes and back he comes.” Ronnie shrugged. “Who knows - maybe this time?” Ronnie didn’t add that he doubted it but his face said as much. “That’s why we’re here; to give him another chance after everyone else has given up on him.”

Jerry spent his first shift watching TV, playing spades with a few men, listening to their stories and admitting two new men who came in cold, hungry and drunk. Jim Bosco didn’t approach him. At midnight, replacements came in and he recognized one from the Harbor light.
Pat Rienhold smiled when he saw Jerry. “You got a job here too?”

Pat was one of the few success stories from the Harbor Light. They had become friends when they started to trek from the Harbor Light across the West End Bridge to the AA club.
After exchanging pleasantries, Jerry left.

The next day Jerry went to a noon AA meeting at the club in the West End of Pittsburgh. Someone brought up the topic of bottoms. Jerry listened to men and women talk of what alcohol had taken from them, families, homes and jobs. The meeting almost became a competition to see who lost the most.

It came to a man Jerry became friends with several months ago, a doctor and fellow Nam vet. “I lost nothing,” the doctor said. His partners had forced him into a six month rehab for doctors. “I still have my wife, my children, my automobiles, my job and a very nice house in the North Hills. But when I hit bottom, no one can tell me I didn’t feel like the lowest thing on this planet, like any man who has ever lived under a bridge.”

Those words smacked Jerry between the eyes. Bottom wasn’t something physical. It was emotional. You had to feel it to know it. And this man, who kept everything, had felt it. Jerry never thought of it that way before.

He went to work that afternoon. A couple new faces had arrived and a few had left. One of the new faces was a young black man who introduced himself as Teak. His white smile and personable boyish, twenty-something face made him a likable young man. He appeared out of place among the men worn down by the streets.

Jerry played spades with Teak and a couple other guys and listened to their stories.
"I live with my grandmother," Teak said. "When I go out on a toot for a few days, I come down here to sober up before going home."

"Have you thought about getting sober?"

Teak laughed. "I go out on a toot every few months. My grandmother has more problems with it than me."

Jerry talked to Teak about alcoholism and getting sober. Teak grinned, nodded and ignored everything Jerry said.

Ronnie frowned when Jerry asked him about Teak. “Hey, you didn’t waste your time. Maybe you planted a seed. Who knows? I’ve been here, Jerry. If you say something one of them remembers ten years from now, then you didn’t waste your time. It’s what we’re about.”
One night a weathered faced man came in high and drunk. He gave Jerry an angry look over and said, “You don’t know nothing about the streets.”

Jerry didn’t try to pretend he did.

He held up his left hand which had two fingers missing. “Frostbite, they had to cut them off. I live in the stairwell of the Sixth St. Cemetery. You know which one I mean?”

Jerry did. It was a beautiful church that dated back to before the Revolution. The cemetery had an Indian chief buried in it.

“And no one comes into my cemetery unless I say so.”

No doubt his matted, curly, black hair, mouth twisted with rage and fierce eyes frightened homeless drunks away from his small domain. Rather than provoke him further, Jerry remained silent.

The man walked over to the desk and said, “Ronnie, how you doing?”

“I’m okay. How are you, Jacky?”

After Ronnie processed him in, Jacky stumbled to a cot and flop on it.
Ronnie smiled for the first time Jerry could remember. “That’s Jacky’s. He’s okay. He’s a Nam vet too. We use to panhandle and drink together. Leave him be and he won’t bother you.”

Jerry celebrated his second anniversary sober with a new girlfriend, Liz. They met in AA. Alcohol had ruined her marriage and left her a single mother with two kids. The threat of losing her children forced her into AA. Together they sought solace from the loneliness of early recovery. She was attractive and they had a good time together. The celebration went well. After dinner they went back to her house and made love. After Liz fell asleep he stared into the darkness. He smiled. Things had started to turn around for him.

When Jerry went back to work, he recognized one of the new men. He remembered the graying hair and pale face with eyes that stared off like he had a million things on his mind. Jerry had picked him up in his cab several months ago outside the detox. He went straight to a bar. Jerry looked at him several times through the shift. The man remained in the back of the ward on his cot. He didn’t interact with anyone around him.

Jim Bosco came back three months after his last visit. Jerry tried to talk to him. “Things have gotten better for me since the Harbor Light, Jim.”

“Yeah, you’ve done good, Holland.”

“You know there is a better way. I left the Harbor Light and went to AA. It helps me stay sober.”

“Yeah, well I don’t need those people, Holland. They ain’t got anything I want. You watch. I’m going to beat this thing. I’m going to quit drinking, get back to work, live with my brother and drink on holidays.”

“Jim, the problem is once you start drinking you can’t stop. That’s what I had to come to grips with. I can’t have just one or two drinks.”

“That’s you, Holland. I’m different. Right now I’m going through a rough period. That’s all. I’ll get through this.”

Jerry had told himself the same thing many times. But it was all lies. At first, he found the things he heard at meetings hard to swallow, that he had a disease and he couldn’t drink like normal people. He desperately wanted to believe what Jim believed. He came to realize the disease of alcoholism talked to him, told him his wasn’t sick, that he could bring his drinking under control and live as he wanted to live. Those lies nearly destroyed him.

“Jim, it doesn’t work that way. You can’t control alcohol, it controls you.”

Jim shook his head and gave Jerry a knowing smile. “They’ve brainwashed you, Holland. I’m telling you I’ll beat this thing without their help. I don’t have to go to those meetings and deal with those people.”

Jerry frowned. He understood how Jim felt. He had felt the same way a few years ago. He believed his problems caused his drinking. If he could get his problems under control, he could control his drinking. But the problems kept getting worse until he landed in the Harbor light after twenty-eight days in the VA Drug and Alcohol Unit.

Jerry wanted to offer these men what he had learned, but they were like he was several years ago. They didn’t want to listen. And he didn’t have the words to break through the denial.
No one had the words for him either. He had to feel the complete despair of hitting bottom. Yet these men should have felt the despair a long time ago. It amazed him that they didn’t.
Jim left the table and walked back to his cot.

One night, Pat came in and took Jerry aside. “I got a job with one of the hospitals as a drug and alcohol counselor.”

“That’s great, Pat.”

“I’ve put in my notice here. You know, Jerry, I’ve been watching these guys come and go for a year. It’s always the same. And I’ve come to a conclusion. This is what they want. It’s the only explanation. They have a free existence, no bosses, no wives, no parents, no rules, just living on the streets doing what they want. They’re happy in their misery.”

“That can’t be true, Pat.”

Pat shrugged. “It doesn’t sound right but I got no other explanation for it. How could anyone live this kind of life unless they want to?”

Jerry frowned. He had no answer. They seemed to revel in their misery. “I don’t know that this is the life they’ve chosen, but they certainly have settled for it. And the only explanation I have is alcoholism. That could be us.”

Pat frowned. “I hope not.”

A couple months later, Jerry got a job offer. In his last week at the detox he learned Jim Bosco died. They found him dead along Route 51 of alcohol poisoning. Jerry never really liked the man. But to die alone on a dark, cold street seemed an unworthy death for any human being.

Five years later, Jerry stood on Mt. Washington looking over the city of Pittsburgh on a clear, sunny March day with a young man in his early twenties.

“Nothing’s happening and nothing’s going right, Jerry.”

“Paul, recovery requires the one thing an alcoholic doesn’t possess - patience. It takes time for things to turn around.”

“There’s this second step thing too. Jerry, if I ask a Power greater than myself to restore me to sanity, I’m admitting I’m insane. I don’t think I am.”

Jerry raised his eyebrows and laughed. “Think not?

“Paul, I’m going to tell you what I’ve discovered to be true. Taking on alcoholism, packing two pissed off parents and some willpower is like single handedly taking on a company of North Vietnamese Regulars. You’re going to get your ass kicked.”

Jim Bosco came to mind. He couldn’t do anything for the man. And maybe the same was true for Paul. He didn’t know. But like Ronnie said so long ago, ‘just plant a seed.’

“You need a support group and a Power greater than yourself. Do I believe there’s a God? I don’t know. I don’t think all the priests, preachers and rabbis in the world know for sure. That’s why they call it faith.

“I can tell you what happened to me. I stood right here a few years ago and prayed for help. At the time, I was thinking along the lines of a good job and everything coming together sooner than later. I guess you could say that prayer didn’t get answered because I didn’t get a good paying job and things didn’t come together immediately. They did eventually, but it took more time than I had hoped or prayed for.

“Instead of a good job I ended up on the Southside Detox making very little money and watching a parade of drunks pass through who had little hope of ever getting sober or having anything.

“A guy said to me back then that he thought those drunks chose the miserable lives they lived. I’ve thought about that a lot over the last few years. I don’t think that’s true. Today, I think drugs and alcohol damaged their brains to the point where they couldn’t make a rational decision about getting sober. Self-destruction is insanity, Paul.”

He smiled. “At the time, I needed perspective and some appreciation for what little I had. And that’s exactly what that job gave me. Eventually everything worked out. But it took time, Paul.”

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Detox

Jerry Holland usually found the view overlooking Pittsburgh and the three rivers from Mt. Washington inspiring, but not today. The beauty of the sun dappled, icy rivers and buildings on a cold February afternoon could not touch the despair ripping at his soul. Nothing had gone right in the last twenty months since he got sober.

At thirty-eight, anxiety ruled his life. A few drinks would wash it away and let him feel the sweet joy of alcohol oblivion. Yet they would also take him down the same destructive path of drunkenness to detox and rehab where he would have to start all over again.

He prayed. But he had little faith some great power listened or cared about his request for a good job. A week later he found a job, but hardly the kind of job he envisioned in his prayer.
Jerry walked into the Salvation Army Southside Detox at 3:50 PM, ten minutes before his shift started. Spartan described the detox at best, bleak at worst.

He stood in a recreation area. It had a TV, two tables with chairs around them, three easy chairs and a couch. Behind waist high filing cabinets three rows of old army cots lined the dimly lit ward. A short, dour faced man sat behind a desk off to the right.

He walked over and said, “I’m, Jerry Holland. I’m supposed to start today at four.”

“I’m, Ronnie.” He didn’t offer to shake Jerry’s hand.

“At four o’clock stand by the door and announce its dinner time. After all the men line up, take them across the hall.”

Some men already stood in line waiting. One of them said, “You new, man.”

“Yeah.”

“You an alcoholic.”

“Yeah, I got twenty months sober. I’m just like you.” He saw little point in adding that he wasn’t completely happy with his life sober. His ex-wife still didn’t let him see the children and couldn’t find a job except for one like this or driving cab. Alcohol took him to a low bottom and at times he still felt like he looked at the world from inside a dark pit.

“Not really.” He laughed. “I got one day and you could hardly call me sober.” He jerked his head toward Ronnie’s desk. “Don’t mind him. He’s okay, just a little intense. He started out here just like the rest of us but he’s done well for himself. He’s got a few years sober. All you got to do is shout dinner time and the guys will come over and then you walk us across the hall.”

“Thanks. Dinner time,” Jerry shouted and watched the men crawled out of their cots and lined up.

“Holland, what you doing here?”

Jerry looked up the line and saw a smiling face he recognized.

“Jim Bosca. Remember me from the Harbor Light. We roomed together for about a week, then I left.”

Jerry smiled and hoped his face didn’t reveal his surprise. Jim Bosco looked nothing like the man he briefly knew eighteen months ago. Then his face was white and clean. Now it looked yellowish with red blotches on the jaws. He kept his brown hair trimmed and combed to perfection but now it hung over his ears dark and greasy. The lack of any semblance pride astonished Jerry.

“What are you doing here, Jim?”

“I hit some rough times, that’s all. I’ll be out of here in a couple days and everything will be normal again.

“Oh.” Jerry couldn’t think of anything else to say. After he brought the men back from dinner, he asked Ronnie what he should do now.

“Have a seat. I started out here. Had some problems after Nam. I was a helicopter pilot. Things fell apart a few years after I came home. It’s taken a long time to come back from the streets.”

“I was in Nam.” Jerry said.

Ronnie nodded. “Then you understand.” He pointed to the sleeping area. “This is the last court of appeal for those men. Nobody wants them. That’s were alcoholism has taken them, to the streets.

“They come in here for three to five days depending on how bad they are, mostly to get out of the cold, get some hot food and a warm bed. That’s what I use to do, come in for three hots and cot. February is a cold month and the streets are a bad place to be. If you stay around here for awhile, you’ll see these same men come back time after time.

“No hospital will take them anymore. They’ve been to the hospitals too many times. But the Salvation Army will take them - no questions asked.

“Maybe one of them will get out of here and do something. I did. But it took many years and many trips to this place before I had enough. And that’s what we’re doing here, trying.” Ronnie’s rough face didn’t hold the hope of the usual Drug and Alcohol Counselor.

“What am I suppose to do?”

“This is an easy job. All you do is keep an eye on them. Talk to them. Share your story and hope you can get through to one someday. Don’t get your hopes up that you’ll do any good around here. If you do, it will be a very hard job.”

“What’s up with Jim over there?”

Ronnie frowned and shook his head. “He comes in about every three months or so. Story is always the same, he gets drunk and his brother throws him out. He lives on the street for awhile, decides to try again, his brother lets him come live with him for awhile, he drinks and out he goes and back he comes.” Ronnie shrugged. “Who knows - maybe this time?” Ronnie didn’t add that he doubted it but his face said as much. “That’s why we’re here; to give him another chance after everyone else has given up on him.”

Jerry spent his first shift watching TV, playing spades with a few men, listening to their stories and admitting two new men who came in cold, hungry and drunk. Jim Bosco didn’t approach him. At midnight, replacements came in and he recognized one from the Harbor light.

Pat Rienhold smiled when he saw Jerry. “You got a job here too?”

Pat was one of the few success stories from the Harbor Light. They had become friends when they started to trek from the Harbor Light across the West End Bridge to the AA club.
After exchanging pleasantries, Jerry left.

The next day Jerry went to a noon AA meeting at the club in the West End of Pittsburgh. Someone brought up the topic of bottoms. Jerry listened to men and women talk of what alcohol had taken from them, families, homes and jobs. The meeting had almost become a competition to see who had lost.

It came to a man Jerry had become friends with several months ago, a doctor and fellow Nam vet. “I lost nothing,” the doctor said. From previous conversations Jerry knew his partners had forced him into a six month rehab for doctors. He told some funny stories about that rehab. “I still have my wife, my children, my automobiles, my job and a very nice house in the North Hills. But when I hit bottom, no one can tell me I didn’t feel like the lowest thing on this planet, like any man who has ever lived under a bridge.”

Those words smacked Jerry between the eyes. Bottom wasn’t something physical. It was emotional. You had to feel it to know it. And this man, who kept everything, had felt it. Jerry never thought of it that way before.

He went to work that afternoon. A couple new faces had arrived and a few had left. One of the new faces was a young black man who introduced himself as Teak. His white smile and personable boyish, twenty-something face made him a likable young man. He appeared out of place among the men worn down by the streets.

Jerry played spades with Teak and a couple other guys and listened to their stories.

"I live with my grandmother," Teak said. "When I go out on a toot for a few days, I come down here to sober up before going home."

"Have you thought about getting sober?"

Teak laughed. "I go out on a toot every few months. My grandmother has more problems with it than me."

Jerry talked to Teak about alcoholism and getting sober. Teak grinned, nodded and ignored everything Jerry said.

Ronnie frowned when Jerry asked him about Teak. “Hey, you didn’t waste your time. Maybe you planted a seed. Who knows? I’ve been here, Jerry. If you say something one of them remembers ten years from now, then you didn’t waste your time. It’s what we’re about.”

One night a weathered faced man named Jacky came in high and drunk. He treated Ronnie with respect but had an attitude toward Jerry.

“You don’t know nothing about the streets,” he told Jerry.

Jerry didn’t try to pretend he did.

Jacky held up his left hand which had two fingers missing. “Frostbite, they had to cut them off. I live in the stairwell of the Sixth St. Cemetery. You know which one I mean?”

Jerry did. It was a beautiful church that dated back to before the Revolution. The cemetery had an Indian chief buried in it.

“And no one comes into my cemetery unless I say so.” He had greasy brown hair hanging over his ears, a mouth twisted by years of rage and deranged black eyes.

Jerry said nothing and Jacky turned and went to flop down on his cot. Ronnie smiled for the first time Jerry could remember. “Jacky’s okay,” he said. “He’s a Nam vet too. We use to panhandle and drink together. Leave him be and he won’t bother you.”

Jerry celebrated his second anniversary sober with a new girlfriend, Liz. They met in AA. Alcohol had ruined her marriage and left her a single mother with two kids. The threat of losing her children forced her into AA. Together they sought solace from the loneliness of early recovery. She was attractive and they had a good time together. The celebration went well. After dinner they went back to her house and made love. After Liz fell asleep he stared into the darkness. He smiled. Things had started to turn around for him.

When Jerry went back to work, he recognized one of the new men. He remembered the graying hair and pale face with eyes that stared off like he had a million things on his mind. Jerry had picked him up in his cab several months ago outside the detox. He went straight to a bar. Jerry looked at him several times through the shift. The man remained in the back of the ward on his cot. He didn’t interact with anyone around him.

Jim Bosco came back three months after his last visit. Jerry tried to talk to him. “Things have gotten better for me since the Harbor Light, Jim.”

“Yeah, you’ve done good, Holland.”

“You know there is a better way. I left the Harbor Light and went to AA. It helps me stay sober.”

“Yeah, well I don’t need those people, Holland. They ain’t got anything I want. You watch. I’m going to beat this thing. I’m going to quit drinking, get back to work, live with my brother and drink on holidays.”

“Jim, the problem is once you start drinking you can’t stop. That’s what I had to come to grips with. I can’t have just one or two drinks.”

“That’s you, Holland. I’m different. Right now I’m going through a rough period. That’s all. I’ll get through this.”

Jerry had told himself the same thing many times. But it was all lies. At first, he found the things he heard at meetings hard to swallow, that he had a disease and he couldn’t drink like normal people. He desperately wanted to believe what Jim believed. He came to realize the disease of alcoholism talked to him, told him his wasn’t sick, that he could bring his drinking under control and live as he wanted to live. Those lies destroyed him.

“Jim, it doesn’t work that way. You can’t control it. It controls you. It tells you things but their all lies.”

Jim shook his head and gave Jerry a knowing smile. “They’ve brainwashed you, Holland. I’m telling you I’ll beat this thing without their help. I don’t have to go to those meetings and deal with those people.”

Jerry frowned. He understood how Jim felt. He had felt the same way a few years ago. He believed his problems caused his drinking. If he could get his problems under control, he could control his drinking. But the problems kept getting worse until he landed in the Harbor light after twenty-eight days in the VA Drug and Alcohol Unit.

Jerry wanted to offer these men what he had learned, but they were like he was several years ago. They didn’t want to listen. And he didn’t have the words to break through the denial.
No one had the words for him either. He had to feel the complete despair of hitting bottom. Yet these men should have felt the despair a long time ago. It amazed him they didn’t.
Jim left the table and walked back to his cot.

One night, Pat came in and took Jerry aside. “I got a job with one of the hospitals as a drug and alcohol counselor.”

“That’s great, Pat.”

“I’ve put in my notice here. You know, Jerry, I’ve been watching these guys come and go for a year. It’s always the same. And I’ve come to a conclusion; this is what they want. It’s the only explanation. They have a free existence, no bosses, no wives, no parents, no rules, just living on the streets doing what they want. They’re happy in their misery.”

“That can’t be true, Pat.”

Pat shrugged. “It doesn’t sound right but I got no other explanation for it. How could anyone live this kind of life unless they wanted to?”

Jerry frowned. He had no answer. They seem to revel in their misery. “I don’t know this is the life they’ve chosen, but they certainly have settled for it. And the only explanation I have is alcoholism. That could be us.”

Pat frowned. “I hope not.”

A couple months later, Jerry got a job offer. In his last week at the detox he learned Jim Bosco died. They found him dead along Route 51 of alcohol poisoning. Jerry never really liked the man. But to die alone on a dark, cold street seemed an unworthy death for any human being.

Five years later, Jerry stood on Mt. Washington looking over the city of Pittsburgh on a clear, sunny March day with a young man in his early twenties.

“Nothing’s happening and nothing’s going right, Jerry.”

“Paul, recovery requires the one thing an alcoholic doesn’t possess - patience. It takes time for things to turn around.”

“There’s this second step thing too. Jerry, if I ask a Power greater than myself to restore me to sanity, I’m admitting I’m insane. I don’t think I’m.”

Jerry raised his eyebrows and laughed. “Think not?

“Paul, I’m going to tell you what I’ve discovered to be true. Taking on alcoholism, packing two pissed off parents and some willpower is like single handedly taking on a company of North Vietnamese Regulars. You’re going to get your ass kicked.”

Jim Bosco came to mind. He couldn’t do anything for the man. And maybe the same was true for Paul. He didn’t know. But like Ronnie said so long ago, ‘just plant a seed.’

“You need a support group and a Power greater than yourself. Do I believe there’s a God? I don’t know. I don’t think all the priests, preachers and rabbis in the world know for sure. That’s why they call it faith.

“I can tell you what happened to me. I stood right here a few years ago and prayed for help. At the time, I was thinking along the lines of a good job and everything coming together sooner than later. I guess you could say that prayer didn’t get answered because I didn’t get a good paying job and things didn’t come together immediately. They did eventually, but it took more time than I had hoped or prayed for.

“Instead of a good job I ended up on the Southside Detox making very little money and watching a parade of drunks pass through who had little hope of ever getting sober or having anything. But that job taught me the power of alcoholism and it kept me sober.

“A guy said to me back then that he thought those drunks chose the miserable lives they lived. I’ve thought about that a lot over the last few years. I don’t think that’s true. Today, I think drugs and alcohol damaged their brains to the point where they couldn’t make a rational decision about getting sober. Self-destruction is insanity, Paul.”

He smiled. “At the time, I needed perspective and some appreciation for what little I had. It kept me sober and eventually everything worked out. But it took time, Paul.”